But then there was the certifed brain-raper girl from the week before! I was actually so freaked out, I only told someone about it yesterday. I went on a date with this girl that I sort of know through friends of friends. We meet at this cafe, we drink cocktails, we have a good time. She's hitting the absenth and the B52s, I'm thinking its early lights tonight. We're leaving and she says to me she wants to go sing Karaoke. I'm pretty tired, drunk. She says 'Just 1/2hr and then we'll go.' Fine, said I, but I gotta go get some more money. I've only got 500 Som left. She says, '500 is loads, we won't need more than that!. So off we go, happy little bunnies, to sing out our hearts. She's jiving to J-Lo, i'm giving her my Eminem! An hour passed, I come back from the bathroom and I see she's ordered a bunch of G&T's. I'm thinking about the money situation so I ask her 'does she have any money with her. She says for what. To pay the bill cos I only got 500Som. "You only got 500 Som?!" I told you before. She goes all haughty-like; "You mean you want me to pay for myself?" (Shock! How could a man be so cruel?!) I'm like, look you pay for the bill I;ll give it back to you later or tomorrow. She says, "No worries! Lets sing some more!" (which I take to mean, 'I'm only joking, of course I got money. Relax and enjoy yourself!) I order another beer and mumble along trying to keep up with the lyrics to P.I.M.P.Another hour goes by. Time to go. The waitress brings the bill. 1700 Som. I put down my 500 and turn to her for the rest. "What! You only got 500 Som! Are U serious!" What's wrong with this girl? She got the memory of an amoeba. She says don't worry, we'll sort it out. She calls the manager and eventually I have to leave my mobile with the cashier while we go off to the cash machine. Problem, cash machine out of order, all cash machines out of order! She says don't worry, I've got $100 at my place. We pick it up and return to the Karaoke place. She hands over the money and the cashier hands her the mobile phone. Great, we go outside and she wants to call a taxi even though I live a block away. We're waiting on the street. I ask her for my pnone. She says 'No. I'll give it to you later' . But I want it now. Why do you want it? I automatically say: 'I gotta talk to Bob' (When ever I want to get out of something like a date I usually say "I gotta go help Bob (thanks for your assistance, Bob! ) 'Bob's fallen out of the window of his appartment again. I gotta go!" or "The world's about to explode in 6 hours and I told Bob I'd fly the spaceship. See ya!'"No. no. no!" She says. I'm not giving you back your phone til you pay me back the money you owe me." 'What! You don't trust the guy who brought you out on a date, the guy whose friends are your friends and whom you see all the time and who is certainly not known around for welching on his debts - all for $30, which I'm going to give you in 5minutes when we go home!' No.no., she says. Its my phone now!. You saw me give 1200 Som to the cashier and you saw her give the phone to me, NOT TO YOU! That makes it MY PHONE!"Im about to just walk away and leave her with the phone. In the end she runs after me, comes to my place and im questioning her. Are you for real? Can you really not trust another person? Were you beaten with sticks as a child and cheated all the time?' 'Yes!' Okey-dokey....mmmmm.....NUTTER ALERT!!!! Anyway, I gave her $30 back but she wouldn't give me the phone! "Im not giving you the phone until I know I can trust you!' 'I just gave you the money back! I just acted (against the advice of reason) like a gentleman! What are you talking 'bout?' "I also need to know that you won't say bad things about me.' Okay, I thought, I get it! She suffers from spontaneous though irregular attacks, cereberal palpitations or some crazy palsy, she just had one tonight when she was being psycho and she's embarrassed I'll warn other people about her and say: 'Nutter! Nutter! She'a a Crazy Nutter!'I Told her Don't worry! I'm not gonna waste my time putting other people down! I understand if you gotta problem with trusting people but I've been pretty trustworthy and Im still talking to you. That's a pretty good sign that Im trustworthy.No, she says, and falls asleep! I'm not the sort of guy who can open up girls' purses. That would have been too easy and I'd just told her I was a trustworthy guy! (guess Im a sucker!) I go to sleep. In the morning she doesn't want to give me my phone. 'Take my DVD, my TV, I don't care! But please give me my phone back. Alll my numbers are on it, pictures, music etc.' No!I make her breakfast. She still refuses. Eventually, I tell her: 'Look, I'll call my frinds in the KGB, they'll make you give it back!" She says: Ill just tell them you gave it to me! Or I could say that you owe me $400. Or I could say, that you raped me!" Wow!!!!!! Just left Crazyzone and am rolling into Loco-ville!!!!Then ten minutes later, this girl turns to me and says cool as ice: "You know, you're a pretty tolerant person. I guess I can trust you. You did much better than I expected! You see I was testing you, I wanted to see how you'd react to an extreme situation! I think it was also good training for you, what happens if you meet a crazy girl someday who wants to fuck you over? You're too trusting." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!She hands me my phone back and says it's been a really interesting date "because we started out having a good time, then we argued, then we make up - just like a real romance all packed into one night!", she hopes I'll call her soon and I'm a nice guy!Still haven't called her................
